Another 365 days around the sun
Some belated (better late than never) closing thoughts on the year of 28
Almost exactly a year ago, I turned 28, quit my job, and embarked on an adult gap year. (Note: I started drafting this newsletter a few weeks ago when it was more “exactly” a year ago…)
In a note that I kept for my own reference, I jotted down the following expectations:
I would be less stressed
I’d have more time to exercise
I’d have time to read, to be creative, and to explore
I’d be able to spend more time on “household” chores, from meal planning and cooking to planning our trips and dates
I’d probably find new gaps in my day-to-day life without work (e.g., no socializing, needing to fill the hours during the workday)
I also wrote down some aspirations:
Pursue language classes
Volunteer with different organizations
Expand on my various side gigs to make a few dollars here and there
Perhaps I’d expand my Etsy store, sell my storybook more prolifically, advise startups, do some career consulting, become a dog walker, help friends with wedding planning, and perhaps even become a private tour guide in the city or start a food blog
All of this is transcribed pretty much directly from that note – I promise I’m not making any of this up. As most of you can probably imagine, I did not complete a lot of the items on that list. Therein lies a lot of what I’ve learned from the past year.
With all the time in the world, I’m still not going to get around to everything on my list. The really, really important things that I am truly passionate about will happen. The things that stay on the “nice-to-do” list are just that at the end of the day. And if it’s not shortchanging me or a loved one, then it’s probably okay to let it fall off the list altogether.
Don’t delay the truly important stuff. For me that includes taking care of my health and prioritizing my loved ones. These are the domains where money generally does not go very far. When I had more time on my hands (and no income), the contrast really became clear. I felt like I could be truly be a full time friend – I could go the extra mile to help my friends, whether it was running an errand for them when they were overwhelmed or jumping on the phone late at night to chat when something was bothering them. There’s no price tag to put on the ability to do that.
Defining success is incredibly personal. I wrote about this extensively last newsletter, so I won’t go into detail here again.
I can learn something from everyone. As an introvert, I rarely felt excited to meet new people in the evenings after work or even on the weekends. While on my adult gap year, I found myself with a lot more social battery than before. I’ve really enjoyed taking the time to meet new people – there are so many folks I’ve gotten to know over a coffee or walk. I probably would have passed over the chance to have a deeper conversation with these new people while I was still working out of social exhaustion.
As I look ahead to this next year, I’ve decided to keep my goals relatively simple and straightforward:
Balance the different dimensions of my life. Don’t let one domain take over too much. It may happen from time to time, but on average, it should balance out.
Cherish the small moments: prioritize laughing and being happy with my people. It’s pretty simple – not worth overthinking. If there’s a decision to be made between work or chores or a moment of joy, the decision should be simple.
Don’t overthink and overplan. Who knows what will happen? So much is out of my control, and oftentimes, as I’ve learned, the things I plan aren’t necessarily the things I truly want to do.
A lot of this reflecting has been quite personal. To wrap up, I’ll end with a more universally applicable learning, which is that it doesn’t hurt to reflect on life through the lens of opportunity cost, fairly regularly. It’s entirely alright if the conclusion of such reflection is to stay the course, but choosing to do so actively matters greatly when the alternative is autopilot.