Celebrating as WWAWMD turns one year old 🥳

And really breaking down the white male archetype behind the newsletter's name

It’s been just about a year of What Would A White Man Do. Thank you for being a part of this journey with me.

This past year, I’ve covered a lot of different topics while also continuing to explore the identity of this newsletter. I’ve gotten backlash for my title and oftentimes, I’ve found myself wondering what it really means to do as a white man would.

At the core of it, people who are upset by my newsletter tend to insist, “I’m a white man and I am not like other white men. Don’t put me in a box.” And I understand that. I feel my own version of this minor indignation every time I drive. I believe that I’m a pretty decent driver, and yet there is truly no shortage of collateral when it comes to making fun of Asian females for their bad driving. While I feel a bit of minor indignation, what I feel more prominently is pride for my ability to drive well and hopefulness that every friend I drive becomes an advocate for how some Asian women are actually pretty good drivers.

All of this is to say that of course I understand that not all white men are the same. But it’s also pretty hard to make a concise point without relying on certain archetypes. And for that reason, I have chosen to lean on the white male archetype to quickly and effectively convey some of the crucial lessons that I want to impart to my friends and readers.

The phrase, “What would a white man do?” arose out of countless conversations with friends where someone hesitated over how to handle tricky situations. The quick phrase embodies so many nuances, from: make sure to stand up for yourself more vocally to perhaps it’s okay to feel a bit more entitled in your situation to don’t be afraid to take a wild guess even if you might be wrong…and so on and so forth.

The white male archetype I imagine is overly confident, effortlessly vocal, quite entitled, and perhaps sometimes mediocre in performance. As you read this, I’m sure this brings to mind certain characters from TV shows and movies or even your own life. Or perhaps, you can think of a few different people who each embody some of these traits. There is extensive research on the origins of white privilege as well as the many nuanced differences in typical male vs female behaviour, so I won’t go into detail here on how and why the white male archetype came to be.

However, what I will say is that it embodies so many of the critical unlocks that are required for the less white-male-like of us to get farther ahead in our world. Granted, as always, there is a different time and place where it makes sense to channel each of these traits. But as we do that, it is also crucial to not lose what we’re already good at, whether it’s listening, empathy, sensitivity, or something else traditionally less “white male.”

Psssst – when you finish reading, feel free to hit the ❤️ button or leave a comment with your thoughts!

---

Along the way, one of the most interesting conversations I’ve had about my newsletter title was with Johnny Bowman, the author of a newsletter entitled A Man's Work: Hot takes and tools for modern manhood. I was introduced to Johnny by a mutual friend who told me that he was writing “a newsletter for men.” Intrigued by the description, I set out to do some light stalking and before I knew it, I was deep into reading his newsletter. Some of the topics he tackles include how to overcome avoidance, how to grieve, and how to say the unsaid.

Immediately, I started to think about how to square Johnny’s newsletter with mine. I started to wonder what it says about our world, if I’m on one side explaining how to be more like the archetypal white male and then on the other side, you have someone coaching men through topics that tend to be more easily grasped by women (and perhaps some non-white men).

As I thought about the juxtaposition of modern manhood and the white male archetype, I wondered if the two newsletters exist in ironic contrast or unexpected harmony with one another. As Johnny and I sat over coffee and discussed this, I was once again reminded that there’s so much we all have to learn from each other. Oftentimes, the valuable archetypal white male traits that I encourage my readers to embody are the same ones that hold certain men back. The same sense of entitlement that an Asian woman might benefit from adopting when fighting for a raise is perhaps the same entitlement that is stopping a white man from being an even better manager or coach to his direct reports.

At the root of it, building empathy comes from dialogue.

My parting thought for this week’s newsletter is that eventually, I hope to have as many white men reading my newsletter as non-white men, to whom it might initially seem that my newsletter is geared. The more white men who read my newsletter, the more they can begin to understand the sorts of scenarios or situations that others might find challenging. As they do that, they can build an understanding for other perspectives and how to better be allies. And by the same token, I hope that there are just as many non-men reading Johnny’s newsletter as there are men. Check it out if you’re curious: